When things don't work out just right.

Something's in life are meant to work out the right way and some aren't. I think this may be one of those things that isn't meant to work for me.

I seem to always be repeating myself but I miss my life, I miss my best friend, and I'm so over always being miserable and always feeling like I have something to prove. It's my life and i'll play it my way.

This is not for me. I don't want to always be lonely. I don't want to pine for the life I had. I just want it back. I want me poorly paying job with the shit hours and the Saturday shifts! I want my Friday and Saturdays at Paddies back. I want to just pretend I'm busy and stay at home with Pretty Little Bitch Girl.

But I don't really know if I can impose on the life she created without me. The life that her and the Pool God have built for themselves. But I can't stay here just to be miserable. I just think I need to do something for me. I need to make the decision for myself and not for someone else.

I don't want to be this person that feels sorry for them selves all the time. I want to be that person that feels sorry for other people because I am so comfortable in my own life and my skin.

Something will need to change soon because I don't want to live my life like this, I am NOT this person, I was never this person. What happened to me??



I so lonely. I'm surrounded by people but I am so so lonely. I miss our life. I miss who I used to be. But mostly I miss you. And honestly I just want it all back. I always say I don't do regrets. But this is one, and I don't want to go on in like always having this regret. Something needs to give, and I think for once I finally figured up what I need to do for me. Last time it was for something else, this time it's for me. I think it's time to seriously consider going home, and home is where every you happen to be. Lots of love The chaple street princess Xxx

I don't do regrets but... I think I made a huge mistake.

I miss you & I will never get my life back, regardless of how hard I try. I feel like I'm drowning, and there is no one here to pull me back.

I'm never included in your conversations or your private jokes. And refuse to pretend any longer that the two of you EVER include me.

Everything I say is riddeled with a sense of catastrophe have I just said something wrong or not? And from to day forward I will confront you about it.

I have no life here. I don't really think I'll ever have one here again. All I want to do all the time is go home.

Regardless of who reads this, this is one thing in my life that doesn't involve you, it doesnt matter what I wright here because if you read it what you see is not to offend you. You can't get shitty at someone for something they say that doesn't involve you.


So basically if I did regrets then I say....
I regret coming back to Melbourne.


Lots of Love
The Chaple street Princess
Xxx

I miss HAVING a best friend.

I miss my best friend......I miss HAVING a best friend.
I miss being myself.... I miss you because I don't feel like I belong here anymore. I miss you because I don't feel like I have to prove myself with you... I feel like I always have something to prove here.

I don't get your inside jokes, I don't get why it’s funny. I don't get half the things you say, and to be brutally honest..... I have no idea why I feel this way, but I know I can't go on like this...
Just because you ignore something does not make it go away.

I am not who I used to be... I lost that right and I’ll never be able to get myself back. I will never have that power ever again.

Some day’s I feel like I have made the worst decision of my life; I should have never come back. I don't belong here anymore.....

But some days like today I LOVE MY LIFE

I love my friends and I love Melbourne, but Port & Pretty Little Bitch Girl Stole my heart :D

If you treat me how I want to be treated then baby we'll get along fine, but if you continue down the path you have started buddy, you can forget ever having anything to do with me again.


Lots of Love
     The Chapel Street Princess
        Xxx

WHY DIDN'T YOU BEG ME TO STAY?!?

The only think that i can really think of to say is....
WHY WHY DIDN'T YOU BEG ME TO STAY!!
Every time i think about our lives and the way things were it rips my heart apart a little bit.

You are my best friend and the only person who gets me.
I miss you more than i could ever express. I want to come home. i want to do it more than anything in the world. I want to be the one who gets to sit at home with you and pretend were busy i want to be the one
Who will be there to make sure you don't enter the kitchen because a cockroach has taken over..
...i want to be the one...
Who will have multiple weirdo crushes on men that can entertain you for hours just thinking of 'why?'...
...I want to be the one who
Will  be lazy and sit at home in my pjs, paint my nails, and think all day of what you will wear that night - that of course we don't end up wearing...
...I want to make you laugh when you could cry...
...I want to stay home on a weekend and drink cups of tea watching tv series and tell everyone else we are busy just to escape it all every now and then...


It doesn't matter what it is as long as i'm with you doing it.
So maybe i kind of hate it and want to come home.
So maybe it's not all i thought it would be.
So maybe the grass isn't greener on the other side.
So maybe the grass kind of FUCKING SUCKS
So maybe it isn't about how much you earn maybe it's about being with your bestie.


I would rather be a name tramp with you by my side than be one with anyone else.
I would rather be a Skanky Hoe with you than with anyone else.
I would rather be a Trashy Bitch with you than with anyone else.

And i would much rather eat dinner with you everynight that talk to you on the phone.
I would much rather ride my bike with you than drive my car.
I would much rather babysit with you than alone.
I would much rather be there than here.


I MISS YOU, and i want to come home.....


Lot's Of Love
     The Chaple Street Princess
           Xxx

I Miss You

So skype is one of the most amazing things the has been invented i am exactly 2,884 km or 1 day and 11 hours from my step-mum, dad and my little brother the amazing baby sean. But i can sit on skype and talk to them as if they were only sitting across the room from me, and this has been a god send. To sit here in my room in the beautiful Far North Queensland and talk to them in cold old melbourne town. to see my little brother growing up is amazing even though i'm not there with him i can still see him and talk to him, play games with him.




So basically i miss my family, i miss just sitting with them and i miss being surrounded by them. I try not to dwell on the situation that i'm missing my little brother grow up. I miss my big brother and getting drunk with him. Helping him out, he's my partner in crime. why is it that when someone needs your help you can't be there to do it. It breaks my heart just that little bit every time i think about it. I miss my brothers. I'm missing sean grow up and I'm missing out on helping Matt to grow up. It's obvious that he can't do it by himself and that really sucks.


I miss my step-mum and talking shit with her and i miss her laughing at my lack of self control when it matters the most. I miss her cooking and i miss spending time with her, and i miss just being surrounded by people that love me unconditionally. 


I miss my dad, I miss getting drunk with him, and the way he disapproves of some of my choices, and i miss lunching with him and i miss everything about the fact that i can't see him. I miss hearing about his golf buddies and i miss him talking shit. I miss you Daddy. 


I miss my Grandma, i miss her telling me that my tattoos are trashy and that i should think about what I'm eating, and i miss her beautiful nature and the way she always tells me I'm her favourite and i miss her judging me and i just plain miss her. 




But most of all i miss my mum. Because she's my best friend and because she's always been there for me. 
I sometimes wish that she was here with me, other times i just with that i could take back coming here. 
Not that i don't want to be here i love Port and i love Pretty Little Bitch Girl and all the rest but i miss my mum the most, and i sometimes i wish i could just give it all up and go home, but i won't do that. I'll stick it out. 


I just makes me sad to see what i am missing. 


I love you guys, miss you..




Love 
   The Chapel Street Princess.
                              Xxx

To sleep with you or to not..?

Getting the text for a small get together on a lazy warm Tuesday after. 

so basically yeah i'm there :) 

Had plans to go into town tonight because i know a certain young man will be there one i would be pretty keen to sleep with. Pretty Little Bitch Girl: THIS DOES NOT MEAN I LIKE HIM, just that i would like to sleep with him :P

Two very very different things.  Or are they?

Do you have to like someone to sleep with them, You have to be into them yeah, but do you have to have feelings for them to sleep with them. 

The first person i slept with i didn't have any feelings for i did it because i was drunk

The second person was because i was into older men :) 

The Third person i was in love with so thats that. 

The Fourth was a drunken night out, i didn't have feeling so him, but he's a friend and again with the older men thing :) 

But do you need to Like someone to sleep with them??

I think that it's up to you really. No one can answer that question for you. So think about it. 

I'm starting to think that you do need to like someone to sleep with them. with one exception :)

Lot's Of Love 

  The Chapel Street Princess 

       Xx

Seedy Sunday

So sitting her listening to Regina Specktor on a Seedy Sunday :)
Last night was a good night :) Strange things and strange people also played a part :)
The Chef now has a room mate and has failed to mention this for like a month.. maybe not be strange but is strange that he didn't mention  it.  She is a little odd though. haha

And as for The Microwave man i am a fan. A huge fan :) Pretty Little Bitch Girl seems to be of the opinion that i went and saw him on my little outing yesterday. Can't say this is true, but i like to fuck with her so won't say that it's untrue either :) As a young friend once said to me.. I would go there and come back again, then go there and come back and maybe a few more times for good measure. but yeah those words from The Barista Boy have stayed in my mind for quite a few years haha.

I don't really get one thing though. If a boy's a cheater will he always be?
My ex cheated with me on his ex.. ( I didn't know they were still together) and then cheated on me with his now Gf. I should have seen it coming. Because i believe once a cheater always a cheater. Regardless of the fact of them being sorry and regretting it or not.
So Cheater once will be a Cheater always??
Or
Anyone can make a mistake??


You choose your path.. but i will just tell you that regardless of if you love your man, if he cheats on you  LEAVE HIM, you deserve better.

Lot's Of Love
    The Chapel Street Princess
        Xx